Dear diary,
It's been awhile since we last talked. Yes, it's been three months since that day and I said it would be the very last. Here I am once more, with those same ill feelings and I am left with no alternative but to tell thee because only you can really understand me without blame or interrogation.
So, I came across these humans that wear scrubs to work_you know how much I envy them. Guess what, I came across this photo of them in a group and it struck me how I wanted to be part of them_ one of the dreams that seems hard to achieve.
I really feel bad when I think that I'm not living life the way I planned it. "Never! expect much from life, cause life will disappoint you when you least expected"_it is now clearer to the mind.
I have thought of many roads from where I am that could possibly lead me back to the right path but each step is like stepping on a burning ground, the pain and struggle of not giving up seem unbearable to carry on.
And I look to see my paradise near, the farther I look,the longer I see the journey become, just in a maze trying all possible puzzles to break free.
People and society always fail to see this burning desire within. well, what can one say or do in a society that adores money to dream. Pay in full or stick at a spot,the choice is yours.
Maybe I'm not brilliant enough to have such a high dream, I thought at some point. I see my friends achieving their dreams and I wonder what I wasn't doing right_i read tirelessly for each exam, put in my very best but when it's time to see the result, lam always weakened to my knees.Maybe the path I choose is not ordained by God_Mom will always say. But our dreams can never be denied by God, are they?
Living this life is such a hell and understanding life is yet a mystery_This wreck of a life, I must see to its end victorious and I choose to follow my own path despite the odds. That's a promise and I hope never to hold glued to this emotion, the next time I write again.
February 2024