DEAR SOMI
DEAR SOMI,
I have been so selfish and self centered all these years, believing in my heart that all I did was for our own good and most especially for YOU. But does all this action of mine portray Love or Lust? Can one say he loves yet hurts the same heart it says to love?
I guess the answer is so glaring but one thing is still true even till the day I take my last breath is my sole unending love for YOU, my first and only love.
I have been so selfish and self centered all these years, believing in my heart that all I did was for our own good and most especially for YOU. But does all this action of mine portray Love or Lust? Can one say he loves yet hurts the same heart it says to love?
I guess the answer is so glaring but one thing is still true even till the day I take my last breath is my sole unending love for YOU, my first and only love.
Yes, you are reading it right.
I have loved you ever since I can feel emotion. I have loved you since I could remember and my childhood memories reminisce with and all about YOU.
When I promised you happiness; to make you proud, to make you mine and to make you want for nothing. Those were words of a lonely man in the lips of a lonely child.
I have loved you ever since I can feel emotion. I have loved you since I could remember and my childhood memories reminisce with and all about YOU.
When I promised you happiness; to make you proud, to make you mine and to make you want for nothing. Those were words of a lonely man in the lips of a lonely child.
I wanted to work to make you want for nothing. I wanted to work to make you proud to be mine. I wanted you to live without worries. I wanted to fulfill all those silly words of ours— those picky swear words you may have forgotten but I wished to keep. I wanted all these and more for YOU, but then I got sick and I panicked because I was afraid. Afraid not because I'd die soon. I was afraid that I'd die without you, the one thing I have ever wanted. And I reached out to you. Believe me when I said you were nothing less to what I have imagined of you— the perfect woman with the most delightfully charming appearance. I have lost count of lonely nights when I think of cuddling you; when I would finally smooch those heart-shaped lips of yours and when I can finally look at these very dark brown eyes of yours to call you MINE. Then you told me you were married. Some part of me died that day. Yet, I never stopped loving you, so I wanted you to belong to me.
I worked in every way possible to break your home and build mine with you. I did many abominable things. Things I looked back to with regrets. I'm sorry I let my love hurt you. I let my emotions cloud my sense of reasoning and I let you down. I know this pain I am feeling right now is what I deserve and it's nothing compared to the thoughts of having me in your heart for the wrong I have done to you. There's no pain compared to this, Somi. I'm begging for your forgiveness.