VALE OF TEARS
I stood still and all I could possibly see was life flashing before my eyes. They say all fingers are not equal but why should I be among those of the very least. I never want much from life, I only ask for little just to sustain this wretched life. I guess that was too much to ask for.
How does one live through each day full of sorrow?
How does one suffer so much yet too little to live from?
God is indeed partial you know?
Why make me just to live off from these pains?
But who am I to judge my maker but truth be told; if I was to choose, this won't be a choice because this nightmare is not worth striving for.
How does one suffer so much yet too little to live from?
God is indeed partial you know?
Why make me just to live off from these pains?
But who am I to judge my maker but truth be told; if I was to choose, this won't be a choice because this nightmare is not worth striving for.
Sorry to bore with my countless thoughts and the hurts I feel within me that I wish so much for help.
My name is Odinaka and this is my story. I stay with my family at the outskirts of Lagos. We didn't have much but we were happy. Those were all I could remember about my childhood memories or maybe it's me trying to justify a little bit of happy days that never did exist.
My name is Odinaka and this is my story. I stay with my family at the outskirts of Lagos. We didn't have much but we were happy. Those were all I could remember about my childhood memories or maybe it's me trying to justify a little bit of happy days that never did exist.
It got worse when dad had complicated eye issues coupled with his diabetes. You never know the problems fathers bear for the family. Life got hard by the day; coping with dad's medication, house expenses and my siblings fees was something mom couldn't cater.
Lost in the thoughts of our predicament with my bloodshot eye gazing preoccupied at the ceiling as the drop of water makes its way to the bucket beside the wooden table. Immediately I heard footsteps then I shot my eye in pretense to be far asleep.
“Odi, are you sleeping already? Wake up, your father and I want to discuss something with you” Mom was trying so hard to speak in a low tone. Maybe she knew I wasn't asleep yet or she was trying not to wake Amaka and Chidi that were laying on the same bed with me.
“Mama, what is it?” I muttered, stretching my hands so that I won't blow my cover.
“Come to the sitting room.” She spoke in low tones as she walked out of the door.
“Mama, what is it?” I muttered, stretching my hands so that I won't blow my cover.
“Come to the sitting room.” She spoke in low tones as she walked out of the door.
This is the second time I had this midnight discussion with my parents. The first time was when I had my first menses. Dad and Mom gave me the talk about womanhood, sex and pregnancy— how I ought to guide my body and the transition from childhood to adolescence.
I walked into our sitting room. Dad and Mom were seated on the antiquated sofa that has been in our house like forever, if not before I was born.
“Dad. Mom. What's the problem?” I murmur
“My daughter, you know the condition of our family right now. Me and your mom have been discussing and we conclude that…… how do I make you understand us?”
“Odinaka nwam, we can't afford to pay your WAEC registration fee. We are so sorry and ashamed that we can cater for you like your mates” Mom said with tears dropping at her cheeks.
“Dad. Mom. What's the problem?” I murmur
“My daughter, you know the condition of our family right now. Me and your mom have been discussing and we conclude that…… how do I make you understand us?”
“Odinaka nwam, we can't afford to pay your WAEC registration fee. We are so sorry and ashamed that we can cater for you like your mates” Mom said with tears dropping at her cheeks.
I knew it would come to this but being a secondary school dropout never crossed my mind. But what can I say or do?. I have to accept it without complaint.
“Mom. Dad. I have heard all you have said. I'll look for work and help with the house expenses and save up for my exam” I uttered
It was the hardest decision I had to accept, not that I had to choose but was forced into acceptance. I was very hurt and felt this sharp pain in my chest. Heartbroken because my dreams and aspirations are fleeting away before my very eyes without them seeing the light of day.
I vowed to make it in life despite all the doomsayers. I work so hard like my life depends on it. Well, it sure did yet expenses never stopped coming for it's uninvited party and when it seems like life is finally smiling at us; immediately sorrow and pain cripple us to our knees just like a cursed fellow that did an unspeakable misdeed in the past life and had to be severely punished.
I vowed to make it in life despite all the doomsayers. I work so hard like my life depends on it. Well, it sure did yet expenses never stopped coming for it's uninvited party and when it seems like life is finally smiling at us; immediately sorrow and pain cripple us to our knees just like a cursed fellow that did an unspeakable misdeed in the past life and had to be severely punished.
It is month end and dad usually goes for a check-up in the hospital. Thankfully, we could afford it. Yes, not actually but after dad's last attack; the doctor advised us to come for a monthly check up, so they can monitor his health. There were many things his check up fee could do but life comes first.
After the check up. It's a must to meet with the doctor for his health status. Mom was in a hurry to return to her shop, so she took dad with her back home. On meeting the doctor, he commented positively on my father's health “ Your father is doing great. Keep it up”
“Thank you Doc. Doctor I was meaning to ask you— I have this constant sharp pain in my chest. I don't know if there any medication you can prescribe for me”
“ Alright, we have the run some test on you before prescription”
“ Ahh, doctor , forget about it. I don't have money for all that”
“Your health should come first. Don't worry it's on the hospital just drop your phone number so I can contact you when your result is out”
“Thank you so much doctor”
“Thank you Doc. Doctor I was meaning to ask you— I have this constant sharp pain in my chest. I don't know if there any medication you can prescribe for me”
“ Alright, we have the run some test on you before prescription”
“ Ahh, doctor , forget about it. I don't have money for all that”
“Your health should come first. Don't worry it's on the hospital just drop your phone number so I can contact you when your result is out”
“Thank you so much doctor”
Two weeks later, I got a call to come to the hospital urgently.
“Odinaka ozoemena, you have a severe heart disease and you have three months to live”
“Doc, this must be a prank right?. I am young and strong. It is just a small pain I feel now and then”
“I'm not joking here. Please, come with your guardian tomorrow because you're seriously sick”
He is not joking. I sure have three months to live.
“Odinaka ozoemena, you have a severe heart disease and you have three months to live”
“Doc, this must be a prank right?. I am young and strong. It is just a small pain I feel now and then”
“I'm not joking here. Please, come with your guardian tomorrow because you're seriously sick”
He is not joking. I sure have three months to live.
"Why me?
How can life be so cruel and wicked?
How does life strike one so hard twice?"
How can life be so cruel and wicked?
How does life strike one so hard twice?"
I couldn't fathom why life was so partial.