CHILDHOOD TRAUMA
You know when they say “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
The holy bible should have been more specific and detailed or maybe they trusted our parents to make the right decision in favour of their children.
Well, a parent should be able to make the right choices for their child. But I know these choices they made for me, shaped my life into a monster I have become yet what can I say. They are the best parents in the world;at least my friends think so. If not they wouldn't be singing praises to my ears at every chance they got— “ I wish my parents were as half loving and caring as your parents”. “ Can your parent adopt me, I don't mind leaving my own parents for your”
I guess I'm super lucky to have them in my life but ask me if I was happy—I don't think so, because when they start expressing their unusual love for me, I felt so unhappy and all I ever got was we-are-doing-it-for-your-own-good written all over their faces and expression.
This started twenty-five years ago. Yes, it has to be because all I could remember about my childhood memories were constant reminders that I was not good enough or done enough.
I remember vividly when I was five years old, I was excited to present my performance card to them.
“Dad, Mom, I took second in class”
“Shh and you thought you did well, why not the first place”
“Dad, Mom, I took second in class”
“Shh and you thought you did well, why not the first place”
Yea, a person who much is given, much is expected. Most times I wished I came from a moderate family. Just maybe this heavy load on my shoulders would have been lighter or if I had other siblings maybe this life expectancy they wanted just from me would be shared. Just maybe but if wishes were horses, men will ride.
I lived my life in those terms they made for me. I had to keep up a straight A+ performance and no failure was expected,if not my body pays the ultimate price.
The body always remembers. It will never forget those pains and leave those scars. That day was my worst ever; I had a B in Mathematics, I was locked up in my closet without food for days as a punishment and when they thought I got used to it, it elevated to being whipped by my father.
And you know what, my Mom watched him do that to me and they told me it's for my own good.
Who inflicts pain on people they love and care for?
Who does that?
My parents.
Who inflicts pain on people they love and care for?
Who does that?
My parents.
I swore never to fail ever again and whenever I did, I would have to inflict pain on myself because that's the only way I could feel free.
PS: In one way or the other the body never forgets, it finds its way back no matter what and when. We should be mindful of what we say or do to a child as a parent or guardian. Childhood is the basis of every child and proper parenting is ideal for any child. Those childhood upbringing molds them for the future and making it a memorable one is an obligation to every child. Parental alienation syndrome and childhood trauma is real, let's say NO to them.