LOST
I have always heard people say that our 20’s is the best part of life and that we should enjoy it when we can. It's that time in our lives when we are offered freedom and get to explore the world. But no one said it will also come with uncertainty, confusion and anxiety.
I'm almost twenty three years old, about to finish university without any plans for the future. Yes, I know— I might appear as a failure right? But trust me when I say that this moment of my life seems like I'm in the desert land lost without purpose for life. Absolute nothing to offer to mankind.
Writing about this now reminds me of a powerful comparison;a cockroach trapped in a bottle, it struggles to set itself free and it got so exhausted that it gave up and accepted defeat but unknown to it, the bottle cap was loose within its reach yet it gave up rather too quickly.
At least the cockroach had an aim but I'm so lost to tell what my purpose really is.
Writing about this now reminds me of a powerful comparison;a cockroach trapped in a bottle, it struggles to set itself free and it got so exhausted that it gave up and accepted defeat but unknown to it, the bottle cap was loose within its reach yet it gave up rather too quickly.
At least the cockroach had an aim but I'm so lost to tell what my purpose really is.
These days I'm lost in thoughts that breed fear. Thoughts of what the future holds and you know what, the responsibilities this future is to bring sends a cold chills down my spine. Becoming an overgrown-baby-adult is a shame I never want for myself.
Most times when these ideas come by, I'm rather scared of failure that I prefer this comfort zone over trying.
Other times, when I finally push the doubts off, procrastination sets in. Just like those books I planned on reading or those ideas I thought to write down but never got the time to see the brim daylight.
Other times, when I finally push the doubts off, procrastination sets in. Just like those books I planned on reading or those ideas I thought to write down but never got the time to see the brim daylight.
This phase of life also is the most lonely I have ever been. People and friends you shared moments and bonded with, turned strangers. Little by little, what was once shared fades away like dust to the air like it never did exist.
Society and family shoulders these responsibilities. You scroll through your Instagram or TikTok account and you see your mates accomplishing stuff and it seems they all have it figured out. How were they able to work it all out? To find their passion and purpose?
I have made the decision to take one step at a time and shed off the thoughts to compare lives.
Our 20’s are a time of self discovery and growth. I might be the slowest racer in this journey of life but racing to the finished line is what really counts. With my slow legs, I would learn from my mistakes, work on my life and experience life at a time and just maybe, I'll find my true passion and purpose. Time is all it will take and I'll find that which I seek.
Our 20’s are a time of self discovery and growth. I might be the slowest racer in this journey of life but racing to the finished line is what really counts. With my slow legs, I would learn from my mistakes, work on my life and experience life at a time and just maybe, I'll find my true passion and purpose. Time is all it will take and I'll find that which I seek.
The desert land will soon be fertile and prosperous. You hold the key, open up and cease to be a lost soul.